when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
