there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
