HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
