I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
