I seem to have left my pride at pride
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
