DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
