we made out on top of his cat.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
