All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
