perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
