margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
this just has baby written all over it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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