I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
