my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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