In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
