how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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