Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
