I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
