It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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