ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
