goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
