even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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