Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Randomize
