Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
