bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
