there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
