This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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