Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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