I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
