Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
