Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
