I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
