were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Its about making memories worth repressing
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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