Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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