she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
