If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize