if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize