I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
we're so committed to being not committed
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize