you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
