I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
