Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
