a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
