These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
