I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
