you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
