I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
