dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I intend to get homeless drunk
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
