Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
