hotel room ftw
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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