The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
