About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
