You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
