its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
