never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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