just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
