so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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