it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
