Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
