Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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