I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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