She said her name was "party"
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
