Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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