i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
