Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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