Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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