the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
