I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You are a genius and a whore.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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