I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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