i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
