OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
