Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
