the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
