You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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