We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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