like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
