YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
should my penis look like a turkey
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
